Why I Shut Down

For most of my life, I struggled to communicate. Not because I didn’t care, but because I didn’t know how.

When emotions came up, I’d freeze… or I’d explode. I became reactive and defensive, especially in relationships. It was frustrating for me and the people I loved.

But what I’ve come to understand is that this wasn’t about “bad behavior.” It was trauma protection. I learned early on that silence was safer than truth. That stuffing emotions down was better than being vulnerable.

And so I did. Until one day, it all became too much.

What looked like a shutdown was actually fear. Fear of not being accepted. Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of being hurt again.

The day I stopped judging that part of myself was the day I began healing it. If you’re still navigating how to speak your truth without shutting down, I see you.